Bala karthiga M

I have a very goal-oriented and solution-oriented approach towards life.

It’s something that has come very natural to me from a very young age. I’ve always tried finding the positives in everything and I seldom complain.

I love my family. I love my crazy-in-a-sometimes-adorable-sometimes-neurotic-way friends. I love my cousins. And I love my job.

Not only do I love them, but I am grateful for each and every person and thing in the above said list.

I’m currently at a good place in life, both socially and professionally. Things have attained a steady and stable pace, and on New Years eve 2018, all that I could think about was how I really felt comfortable with who I am.

There’s a lot of love, gratitude and passion in my heart right now.

So, I can say with confidence that I am aware of the patterns, behaviors and decisions that I ought to avoid and that simply don’t bring the best outcomes for me or for my long term goals.

With time, I’ve accumulated the wisdom to objectively look back and see the repetitions I want to move away from and grow against.

This Anti Bucket list consists of those exact things.

It could be anything.

It could be an attitude, an emotion or even a habit or a decision.

Just a list of things I’m going to deliberately avoid, because they’re only going to steer me away from my bigger goals and aspirations.

1) Be bored.

I’m never using the words “I’m so bored..!” this year.

I refuse to let myself be idle.

There’s just too much to read, write and learn.

2) Borrow a book from a library.

I know. I know.

This is going to trigger some strong arguments but the bottom line is, I care about reading – not the place or tool I use for reading.

Considering my personal preferences, and my lifestyle – a Kindle or an iPad make my reading easier, more enjoyable and much more efficient. I honestly don’t see myself borrowing books from a library this year.

Maybe I will visit the book  store to buy a book or two, but even that is a very far fetched  assumption.

I have no inhibitions in confessing that I love technology. I love having gadgets that get me all excited about things I’m already passionate about.

My good-reads reading challenge of the year is 50 books.

And I’m pretty sure I’m going to do almost all of it on my phone, tab or kindle.

To be honest, I never understood the whole drama with people telling, ‘Paper back books are the best. Kindle is so unromantic.’

Well, whatever.

It’s not cool to force down your preferences or opinions down someone else’s throat.

And thus, here’s my loud, unapologetic declaration: W.R.T. my lifestyle.

Kindle and iBooks FTW!!!!

3) Go for more than three weeks without visiting mom and dad.

I want to do this simply because it restores my sanity, and theirs.

I feel recharged, every time I go home and get back to work.

With both me and my brother away from home, I can imagine how bored and quiet they must be feeling around the house. I have made it a point to go visit them every three weeks or more frequently, if possible. It doesn’t matter how happy, successful or independent I become.

Home is home.

4) Be Careless With Mugs and Ceramics

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love coffee.

It maybe possible that I love coffee mugs more than I love coffee. Which means I end up collecting dozens and dozens of coffee mugs.

I have such shaky, jittery hands that things are constantly slipping out of my control.

Water bottles. Phones. Purses. Babies. Yes. All of them.

I drop things. It’s an integral part of my personality.

And mugs, more often so.

Believe it or not, I keep dropping them or breaking them literally every week. My friends have been mortified by this because:

a) They usually gift me coffee mugs on special occasions and

b) also because all the mugs in my collection are kinda really pretty.

This year, I want lesser number of coffee mugs to die at my hands.

I’ll work on being more careful with them.

5) Be Careless About Money.

This is important.

And I’m not going to shy away from talking about this.

Ever since I’ve gotten financially interdependent, I’ve become more aware of how terrible my money habits are.

No more impulsive buying. No more careless shopping. No more stress-relief shopping. No more simple, boring savings account.

I will try to educate myself on investments and learn to be more careful and sincere with the way I handle my money.

6) Carelessness In General.

Well, you get the idea here.

I want to put a check on my biggest flaw ever: Carelessness.

7) Switch Back to Android. Ever.

iLuuuurrrrrvvvvvee my iPhone.

The brand has won me over and I surrender unto it, my loyalty.

I am never going back to Android. Nope. Sorry.

Just don’t waste your time trying to give me tech specifications I don’t care about or long lectures and presentations about why ‘apple is so overrated.’

8) Ditch a friend during a difficult period of their life, even though they are pretty hard to handle at that time.

This, is a gesture of gratitude.

I’ve had some really hard obstacles that I overcame in 2017, when I was not that easy to handle. I was not really the best that I can be.

Yet, my friends stuck to my side.

I pushed them away, I shut myself out, and yet, my friends never ditched me.

I’ve learned the value of committing to friendship, the power of honesty and genuine affection last year.

And I’m going to thank everyone who stuck by my side, by doing the exact same thing to them.

9) Go To Bed Angry At Someone I Love

This is something I’m sincerely working on.

I hate that feeling of guilt and nagging, when I go to bed knowing that I am mad at a person I love or care about.

Knowing that I have hurt them or have been hurt by them.

You see, we all need and deserve closure. We need and deserve forgiveness. To set things right. To go to bed, and sleep peacefully.

Every time I fight with my mom or dad or my brother or friends or someone else that I truly deeply care about, it ruins my peace. It ruins the entire night.

And my thoughts begin to build and bubble along with my emotions.

I suddenly begin to feel misunderstood. Abandoned. Lonely. Just the most excruciatingly painful kind of loneliness that there is.

I don’t want to live like that this year. Not anymore.

If you’re reading this and you’re a friend, family or someone I truly love and care about, I promise to never go to bed angry at you. It doesn’t matter what it is that we are fighting about.

We’ll talk it out. We’ll sort things. Vent out steam. Cry. Fight. Yell.

But in the end, we’ll make it up to each other.

And we’ll wake up to a new day full of love, hope and kindness.

This, is a promise.

I swear to sport the courage to have proper, heart to heart conversations, give or take apologies that ought to smoothen the situation.

No matter how much I fight, cry or yell,

In the end, I’ll always come back to you.

Because I’ll always need you.

10) Live without writing.

A life without writing, is no life to me at all.