Bala karthiga M

Some people inherit wealth. Others inherit networks. But the smartest people build their own social capital—the kind of influence, relationships, and leverage that open doors money alone never could.

I’ve spent my career watching two kinds of people:

1. The ones who hustle hard, chase promotions, and follow the traditional success script—only to find themselves exhausted, replaceable, and forever playing catch-up.
2. The ones who build relationships, position themselves strategically, and operate with leverage—making a few well-placed moves that compound over time.

Guess who wins?

I’m raising my kids to be the second kind.

My husband and I both have MBAs. We played the career game, climbed the corporate ladder, built highly transferrable skills and very respectable résumés. We did everything by the book. But we know now what really moves the needle—not just talent or degrees, but how well you position yourself, how strong your relationships are, and how much trust your name carries in the right circles.

The world has changed. AI is automating jobs, institutions are losing credibility, and traditional career paths are crumbling. The ones who will thrive are the ones who understand people, power, and positioning.

That’s why I’m not just teaching my kids about financial literacy or entrepreneurship—I’m teaching them social capital as a life strategy. Because those who build trust, influence, and reputation early on don’t just succeed; they shape the game itself.

The Hard Truth About Hard Work

The world worships hard work. But let’s be honest—if hard work alone built wealth, every construction worker and factory clerk would be a billionaire.

We’ve been fed a story that if we work harder, grind longer, and sacrifice more, success will naturally follow. But the reality is, leverage beats labor every time.

I’ve seen this play out over and over again. The hardest-working people are often stuck in the same place, while the ones who truly excel? They:

• Own equity, not just earn salaries.

A senior engineer at a startup works for a high salary, but when the company exits, they make nothing beyond their paycheck. Meanwhile, another employee negotiated partial equity—just 1% of ownership—and walks away with millions when the startup gets acquired. Wealth isn’t in wages; it’s in ownership.

• Invest in relationships, not just credentials.

Two marketing professionals apply for the same job. One has a perfect résumé but no connections. The other has an average résumé but built relationships with key players in the industry. Guess who gets a personal referral and lands the job before it’s even posted? Relationships move faster than credentials.

• Create opportunities instead of waiting for them.

A mid-level employee complains about being overlooked for promotions. Another identifies a gap in the company’s process, builds a solution, and presents it to leadership. They don’t wait for a title change; they demonstrate value—and get promoted based on impact, not tenure.

• Make decisions that lead to compounding gains.

A freelancer spends all their time taking on one-off projects, earning today but always needing to find the next client. Another freelancer builds scalable assets—courses, books, and automated revenue streams. One stays stuck in the cycle of “working to earn,” while the other’s income compounds with time.

I want my kids to understand the game early—that time is the most valuable currency. And the only way to multiply time is through social capital and strategic leverage.

Hard work matters. But who you know, how you think, and what you control will always matter more.

The 5 Laws of Social Capital I’m Teaching My Kids

1. Who You Know Matters More Than What You Know

The world is not a meritocracy. It never has been.

Talent and hard work are valuable—but your network dictates your opportunities. You can be the smartest person in the room, but if no one knows you, you’ll always be working for someone who does.

I want my kids to understand this early: relationships are assets—not just socially, but professionally, financially, and intellectually. A strong network doesn’t just open doors; it creates new ones. It shapes your reputation before you even enter the room. It determines whether opportunities chase you or pass you by without you even knowing they exist.

But networking isn’t just about knowing people. It’s about knowing the right people and being known for the right reasons. The goal isn’t to collect contacts like Pokémon cards—it’s to be strategic, intentional, and valuable to the people you meet.

Example: Instead of just telling my kids to “make friends,” I teach them to build meaningful connections. Who introduces new ideas? Who is respected? Who makes things happen? Who gets people to listen when they speak? Who naturally connects others? The goal isn’t just to know people—it’s to understand who moves the levers of opportunity and to learn how to bring value to them.

Real-World Insight: The biggest deals, the best jobs, the highest-value opportunities? They’re never publicly available. They happen through introductions, private conversations, and trust-based referrals. If you’re not inside the right rooms, you won’t even know the opportunities exist. The job you applied for? Someone else was recommended before it was ever posted. The funding round you’re hearing about? It was closed over a casual dinner weeks ago. If you’re not in the loop, you’re not in the running.

The difference between working for years to get an opportunity and being invited into an opportunity effortlessly is social capital. It’s not about nepotism or favoritism—it’s about trust. People bet on people they know, like, and trust. If you haven’t built that trust, you’ll always be on the outside looking in.

What I tell my kids: Be someone worth knowing. And know the people worth knowing. Build a network before you need one. Because by the time you need it, it’s already too late.

2. Your Name Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Your reputation is like a bank account—every action you take is either a deposit or a withdrawal. Build it wisely, and you’ll have a name that opens doors, attracts opportunities, and earns trust effortlessly. But neglect it, and you’ll find those same doors closing before you even get a chance to knock.

In the digital age, reputation isn’t just word of mouth—it’s permanent. Every decision, every commitment, every interaction leaves a trail. A strong reputation compounds over time, creating credibility that can take you further than skill alone. A weak or inconsistent reputation, on the other hand, can hold you back no matter how talented you are.

That’s why in my house, commitments aren’t optional.

If my kids sign up for something—whether it’s a school dance, a sports toy, or helping mom in the kitchen—they finish it. They don’t get to flake when it gets hard or inconvenient. Because that’s how reputation is built: by showing up, following through, and proving that your word means something.

In the real world, the most successful people aren’t just the smartest or the most skilled. They are the most trusted.

A CEO who consistently delivers results? Investors line up to back them.
An entrepreneur who follows through on promises? People want to partner with them.
A professional who does what they say, every time? They never struggle for career opportunities.

Trust isn’t something you ask for—it’s something you earn through consistency. And while trust takes years to build, it can be lost in a moment.

So here’s what I tell my kids:

Everything you do either adds to—or subtracts from—your reputation. Guard it fiercely. And never let it be for sale.

3. Ownership > Employment

The people with the most freedom aren’t the ones with the highest salaries. They’re the ones who own things—assets that generate value even when they’re not working.

We’ve all been raised on the same script: Go to school, get good grades, land a stable job. But the truth is, no job—no matter how high-paying—will ever give you the leverage that ownership does. When you trade time for money, your earning potential is always capped. The moment you stop working, the income stops too.

That’s why I’m not just telling my kids to “work hard and get a good job.” I’m teaching them to think in terms of ownership.

What can they create that keeps generating income, even when they’re asleep?
What skills can they develop that compound in value over time?
What businesses, investments, or intellectual property can they control instead of just contributing to someone else’s?

The wealthiest, most financially free people I know don’t just earn paychecks. They build things.

They create digital products, write books, launch businesses, invest in assets that grow. They own shares in companies, develop intellectual property, and build systems that work without them. Instead of trading their hours, they create leverage—so money keeps flowing in long after the work is done.

This isn’t about avoiding work—it’s about making work count for something bigger than just another paycheck.

So here’s what I tell my kids:

Build something once. Get paid forever. Don’t just work for money—make money work for you.

4. Learn to Sell (Because Everything Is Sales)

Most people hear the word “sales” and think of pushy tactics, cold calls, and convincing someone to buy something they don’t need. But real sales? It’s not about pressure. It’s about influence.

Everything in life is sales.

Convincing a hiring manager to choose you over dozens of candidates? Sales.
Getting buy-in from your team on a new project? Sales.
Negotiating a higher salary, closing a deal, or even persuading your kid to eat their vegetables? Sales.

That’s why I don’t let my kids just “ask” for things. If they want something, they have to pitch me. They have to:

• Make a logical case for why it makes sense.
• Address any objections before I even raise them.
• Persuade me with confidence, not whining.

Because persuasion isn’t just a skill—it’s a superpower. The ability to sell an idea, to make someone believe in your vision, is what separates those who get ahead from those who get overlooked.

Look at the most successful people in any industry. They aren’t just experts in their field—they’re experts at communicating their value. They know how to tell a compelling story, build trust, and create demand.

The world doesn’t reward people for what they know.
It rewards people for what they can convince others of.

So here’s what I tell my kids:

“You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate. The world belongs to those who can sell.”

5. Play Long-Term Games With Long-Term People

Most people are obsessed with quick wins. They want fast money, instant recognition, and overnight success. But the smartest, most successful people? They know that everything worthwhile compounds over time—relationships, reputation, and results.

Short-term thinking is tempting. It’s easy to make decisions based on what’s immediately beneficial—who can help you right now, what deal makes the most instant profit, what opportunity looks best today. But that kind of thinking keeps you stuck in a cycle of short-term hustles with no long-term leverage.

That’s why I teach my kids to avoid transactional thinking.

If you’re only in it for the immediate reward, you’ll never build something lasting. But if you focus on playing the long game—on being the kind of person people trust today so that five, ten, or twenty years from now, doors open effortlessly—everything changes.

The most successful people—investors, founders, executives—aren’t constantly chasing success. They build systems, reputations, and networks that make success inevitable.

They know that who you work with matters just as much as what you work on.

They build relationships with people who think long-term, who make decisions based on principles, who prioritize trust over quick wins.

Because when you surround yourself with the right people, play the right game, and stay in it long enough—the rewards become exponential.

So here’s what I tell my kids:

“Build for decades, not days. The real rewards come to those who stay in the game long enough.”

Now that they know the rules of social capital, comes the next important question they’ll ask me.

How to Build Social Capital From Nothing?

Now you know that if you have social capital—if people trust you, follow you, and value what you create—opportunities come to you. People pay for your skills, your ideas, your expertise.

But here’s the best part: You don’t need permission from anyone to start building it. You can start as young as 15 or as old as 55.

Lesson 1: Learn Skills That Give You Leverage

When you build an audience, you’re not just putting words on a screen. You’re developing a skill set that makes you valuable anywhere, in any industry.

I tell my kids: you don’t need to wait for someone to hire you or give you an opportunity. You can create it.

When you build an audience, you naturally learn:

• Writing that people actually want to read (not just school essays that no one cares about).
• Persuasion and storytelling (because if you can’t explain an idea well, it doesn’t matter how good it is).
• Marketing and sales (because whether you’re selling a product, pitching an idea, or negotiating a salary, it’s all sales).
• Building things that people want to buy.

And you don’t learn these skills by sitting in a classroom or waiting until you feel “ready.” You learn them by doing.

I want my kids to know that they don’t have to wait for some company to decide they’re valuable enough to hire. They can build skills, create things, and let the market show them what’s valuable.

That’s how real confidence is built—not from waiting for approval, but from proving to yourself that you can create something people want.

Lesson 2: Start Simple, Start Small, But Just Start

Building social capital can sound overwhelming. I get it.

That’s why I tell my kids: start with the simplest thing possible.

1. Write first. Writing is the foundation of everything. If you can communicate well, you can sell, market, teach, and lead.
2. Pick one platform. LinkedIn, Twitter, or Threads—just pick one. If you try to do everything at once, you’ll do nothing well.
3. Build a newsletter. Social media can disappear overnight. A newsletter means you always own your audience.

That’s it. No fancy tech. No expensive courses. No overcomplicating it.

Why do I teach this? Because writing forces you to think. It forces you to learn what actually resonates with people. It makes you better at every other skill—whether it’s public speaking, business, or leadership.

And once you start writing, you start getting clarity. You figure out what you like, what you’re good at, and what people respond to.

Lesson 3: Build a Reputation by Creating Something People Will Pay For

Most people wait. They say, “I’ll start selling once I have a big enough audience.”

I’ll tell my kids: don’t wait. Sell something as soon as possible.

Not because money is the goal (though money is nice). But because when you create something valuable enough for people to buy, you start thinking differently.

The moment you launch something—whether it’s a service, a small product, a workshop—you:

• Stop thinking like a consumer and start thinking like a creator.
• Focus on what actually helps people, not just what gets likes.
• Learn faster, because now you have something real at stake.

Selling isn’t about being “pushy” or “greedy.” It’s about solving problems for people.

If you have something that genuinely makes someone’s life better, why wouldn’t you share it?

And here’s the real secret: your audience will only remember you when they pay you.

They might follow a hundred people, but they’ll only invest in a few. And when they do? That’s when trust is built. That’s when your reputation grows. That’s when you stop being replaceable.

Lesson 4: Social Capital Is What Separates Those Who Chase From Those Who Attract

I want my kids to know that social capital is one of the most powerful forms of leverage.

• When people trust you, they listen to you.
• When people follow you, they share your ideas.
• When people respect you, they open doors for you.

The people who struggle in life aren’t necessarily the ones who lack talent or intelligence. They’re the ones who lack visibility, trust, and leverage.

I tell my kids:

• The best opportunities don’t go to the smartest person. They go to the most visible and trusted person.

• The highest-paid professionals aren’t just experts in their fields. They’re the ones who know how to communicate their value.

• The people who build lasting wealth don’t just trade time for money. They build assets, and social capital is one of the most valuable assets of all.

Lesson 5: Money Isn’t Evil—It’s a Tool for Freedom

I never want my kids to grow up thinking money is something to fear or avoid.

Money isn’t just about buying things—it’s about freedom.|

It’s about:

• Having control over your time.
• Choosing who you work with.
• Building something that lasts.

The difference between people who struggle and people who thrive isn’t just their bank balance—it’s how they think about money, value, and leverage.

If you believe money is scarce, you’ll spend your whole life chasing it.
If you believe money is a tool, you’ll spend your life creating things that attract it.

That’s why I tell my kids: learn how to create value. Learn how to build trust. Learn how to sell. And most importantly, learn how to think long-term.

Because the people who build social capital—who play the long game, who build trust, who create things that matter—they’re the ones who get the best opportunities, the best relationships, and the most freedom.

That’s the real game. And it’s a game anyone can play.

So start today. Build something. Write something. Create something. One step at a time.

That’s how you build social capital.
That’s how you create leverage.
That’s how you build a life on your own terms.

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